Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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