will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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