His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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