So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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