Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
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I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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