I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I party with great urgency now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize