my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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