I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize