Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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