The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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