question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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