True but thats because hes a fetus.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize