so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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