So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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