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Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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