I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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