I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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