Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize