I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I need a beard to bite.
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