So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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