My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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