How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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