if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
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yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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