My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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