look no pants
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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