I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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