Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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  (616): when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me. (248): who is this? http://tfl.nu/n5nl
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (860)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2467) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (503) Bad night (3245) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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  (709): His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs" http://tfl.nu/qi7o
  Replies (27) Good night (4956) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3625) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It usually does with you

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  (717): Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit (1-717): It usually does with you http://tfl.nu/9ly0
  Replies (6) Good night (4147) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

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  (516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt
  Replies (13) Good night (729) Bad night (4027) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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  (530): We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers. http://tfl.nu/jnk6
  Replies (17) Good night (4183) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.

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  (724): You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night. http://tfl.nu/vcog
  Replies (16) Good night (5028) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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  (920): Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday http://tfl.nu/tp2d
  Replies (6) Good night (2748) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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  (917): Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor. http://tfl.nu/lzwd
  Replies (10) Good night (3168) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?

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  (207): Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this? http://tfl.nu/g5cp
  Replies (9) Good night (2974) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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  (603): Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight http://tfl.nu/77hx
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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  (517): I learned so much about myself in that shower. http://tfl.nu/jhiq
  Replies (7) Good night (826) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.

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  (515): As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/c7nn
  Replies (9) Good night (869) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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