i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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