I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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