i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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