I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize