My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize