Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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