lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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