My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Terrible idea I love it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize