he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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