Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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