you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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