I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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