bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
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Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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