you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize