SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize