He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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