i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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