When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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