We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize