Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Holy shit dude........stairs
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