Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize