when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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