he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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